As difficult as it may seem, it's important that you approach your dad sooner rather than later about his driving. Whatever you do, try to stay calm when speaking with him ― he may be more receptive than you expect! It may take a few attempts to ease into the discussion. Lead the conversation with the idea of safety ― not only your father’s safety but also others on the road. Encourage him to share his own thoughts and concerns before discussing possible options. He may only need to make small adjustments to his driving routine such as driving only during the day. Lastly, realize that your dad may become upset or defensive. Research shows that men typically are more reluctant to quit driving than women; however, your continued concern and support will certainly help him feel more comfortable with this topic.

For an older person, a car represents independence and autonomy. At a time when their bodies may be failing them, their cars still get them where they want to go. Understandably, many people won’t give that up without a fight. You may want to reach out to someone outside the family, like a friend or neighbor, or even her doctor, who can help her understand your concerns. Another option is to point her to the AAA Foundation's Drivers 55 Plus: Check Your Own Performance, a self-assessment tool she can do on her own. In doing so, she will likely be more open to acknowledging and addressing her safe-driving issues. If she still refuses to assess her driving, don’t push the issue, unless it’s clear that she is at risk or is putting others at risk. Instead, revisit the topic in a week or two ― this time, with suggestions of some minor adjustments she might be able to make to ease into driving less often.

Safe driving is a function of ability, not age. As people age, their vision, judgment, depth perception, and reaction time change, which can impact their ability to drive safely. Memory problems can make the situation even worse. It’s never too early to start planning. Having the discussion now will allow for more gradual adjustments to his driving routine, as needed. You may not need to do a formal assessment but it could serve as a good baseline test. Ride with your uncle every few months and observe his driving. This will better prepare you to notice any changes. Now is also a good time to become familiar with your state’s senior licensing laws to see what the policies are about renewing driver’s licenses as you age.

There may be more options for getting around than you think. Communities offer various transportation alternatives for seniors and others who don’t drive: van and carpools, public transportation, senior services and more. The AAA Foundation offers a list of alternative transportation options in her area.  Click here to learn more about options in the state where your mother lives. Also, check the Yellow Pages under “transportation services,” and gather public transportation routes and schedules so your mom doesn’t have to do the research.

We all want to continue driving as long and as safely as we can. However, for many of us the time may come when we must limit or stop driving, either temporarily or permanently. Below are some signs that indicate diminished driving skills:

• Decrease in reaction time
• Disorientation with directions and roads that should be familiar
• Difficulty working the pedals
• Difficultly merging or changing lanes
• Ignoring or “missing” stop signs and other traffic signals
• Not wearing a safety belt

Click here for a list of other common warning signs.

Also, be aware of traffic tickets or "warnings" by traffic or law enforcement officers, and regularly inspect the car for dents and scrapes. Citations and even minor car damage often signal a problem. While changes in driving ability usually are gradual and give you time to deal with the issues, there are definitely exceptions. If their driving begins to present a danger to themselves or to others you must immediately take action rather than wait for more warning signs.

Today's mature Americans are among the most active and community-engaged seniors in our nation's history, and mobility and independence are essential to preserving those qualities. Use a respectful tone and speak from a position of concern. Stress your concern for her safety and the safety of others on the road. Be prepared to share alternative transportation options (e.g., how she can get to and from her local grocery store or the doctor’s office) and encourage her to gradually begin using them. Offer to accompany your aunt during the initial “trial run” of her new transportation option to show your support during this adjustment period.

Even if you are the primary caregiver, you may feel someone else is better suited to start this discussion. Hearing sensitive information from the right person can make a big difference. Consider the personalities involved and how your family has approached difficult topics in the past. Some families mistakenly assign the most outspoken or authoritative member to deliver their concerns. Such persons are not ideal to open the early discussions about driving, but may better serve later as the enforcer of driving decisions.

If you decide that you’re the best person to initiate the discussion start the conversation by expressing how much you care about your mother’s well-being and base it on driving incidents you have observed. If your mother is not receptive to your concerns and her driving impairment becomes increasingly obvious, it may be necessary to involve other family members, one of her close friends or her doctor. In addition to family members, a family doctor is often the most trusted person for providing advice about health issues that may affect driving. While selecting the appropriate person is a factor, remember, the most important thing is to recognize that it’s time to initiate a discussion.

Mature adults typically prefer to speak confidentially about driving safety with someone they trust. If you think your spouse will be more receptive to talking with another family member, have this person initiate the conversation. In subsequent conversations you and other relatives can then reinforce the importance of making good driving decisions. In addition to family members, the opinions of doctors are often valued by mature drivers. Therefore, involving your spouse’s physician is also something to consider. If ultimately you decide that you are the best person to approach your spouse, prepare for the conversation as this will increase your comfort level.

Ideally, the first conversations about safe driving should occur long before driving becomes a problem. Early, occasional and candid conversations establish a pattern of open dialogue, and allow time to discuss gradual changes that may be needed.

The next time you visit your father, ride with him so that you can assess his driving first-hand. Also point him to the AAA Foundation's Drivers 55 Plus: Check Your Own Performance self-assessment tool and encourage him to take it. Depending on your level of concern, you may want to talk to your father’s physician about addressing the issue on your behalf. In the meantime, enlist neighbors or relatives who live nearby to check on his driving from time to time.

Ask a respected family member or a person in authority, such as a doctor or a law enforcement officer to talk with her. You also can point her to AAA’s AAA Roadwise Review, a self-assessment screening tool that she can use in the privacy of her own home. In doing so, she will likely be more open to addressing any physiological changes that may be affecting her driving. If your aunt is still unwilling to acknowledge the issue, you may want to consider restricting her access to car keys or replacing them with keys that don't work. If you feel strongly that your aunt cannot drive safely and will not stop, you may have to resort to contacting your local Department of Motor Vehicles and reporting your concerns. You can also request a revocation of her driver's license. Lastly, you may want to consider selling her car. The money saved on insurance premiums, gas, oil, and maintenance can be used toward alternative transportation.

Some older adults understand the time has come to stop driving and give up their keys agreeably, if not sadly. But in other cases, you’d have better luck taking the keys away from a sixteen-year-old who just got their license! Taking away the keys should be seen as a “last resort” option ― unless it’s clear the driver ― or others on the road ― are in danger. Before you take such action, you might consider enlisting the help of a doctor or a law-enforcement officer. If you feel strongly that this is the only viable next step, be sure to identify transportation alternatives in advance, keeping in mind that you and other family members may need to set aside time to provide rides for your loved one.